School disaster (English text)

In September 2020 we moved from the UK to Portugal. Our children were fifteen, twelve and seven at the time. Within six weeks of arriving, we had found them places in the local state schools. They received some language support but majority of the day they were taught in Portuguese. This text was written during their first term.

The first thing our youngest child says when she wakes this morning: ‘Don’t make me go to school’.

She has a list of afflictions and misfortunes. In the early morning they multiply and strengthen. 'A fungus eye, and a sore tummy, and I banged my head and saw white flashes, and a mosquito bit this finger so I CAN'T EVEN WRITE!’ These take more and more of the strength she needs for the day ahead.

We insist she must go anyway. She stamps her feet and weeps, then stops, and then repeats over and over 'I'm not going'. All her complaints are justified: 'I can't play the games I want to. We just play the snake game because of my t-shirt. I can't talk to them properly. The maths is too easy. And they say things to me and it's just noise!’

We tell her how soon it will get easier as more and more sounds separate and become recognisable with meanings attached. These are promises about the near future but she lives in the full flame of present.

Finally we reach a deal: she'll go until the end of morning lessons. Now that she's resigned to going, she fears being late. Being late will make her different. She spends the walk to school checking her watch and inventing disaster stories: 'That house is a jail and they locked someone up and lost the key and he has to eat a mouse's wing or chew an old brick... That palm tree is so so so tall and it fell across the road and squashed the school bus and everyone's juice leaked in their lunch bags!’

As we draw near to the school grounds, some children are already inside. They recognise her through the school fence. They shout hello and try out some English phrases. We have a last hug and she goes through the gate, head slightly bent.

Comments

Phatic rhythm

My boss likes to talk. He doesn’t need an interlocutor, he needs an audience. As there’s not much call to respond during these daily discourses it’s possible to pay attention to how he structures his speech. Linguistics uses the term phatic communication to describe speech that has a social function rather than an informative one. The Open University describes phatic openings to conversations as an ‘invaluable means of establishing relations before getting down to the real purpose of the encounter’. Here are some of the phatic openings that my boss and other colleagues use (I live in Portugal so these phrases are in Portuguese; I've put an approximate translation in brackets after each one): Eh pá (Hey), Pá (Hey), Olha (Look), Ora bem (Well then), Pronto (Ready), É assim (It’s like this). These are often the first thing uttered during an exchange. They request the other person’s attention and signal that things are ready to roll. They mean Please listen to me; I have somethi...

A casa assombrada / The haunted house

Tenho tentado perceber o site das Finanças. É desconcertante. Há tantos pormenores e a organização é tão difícil de adivinhar. Enquanto estou a desenvolver o meu trabalho de edição e revisão, tenho alguns trabalhos precários e mal pagos. Mais recentemente, comecei a trabalhar numa empresa de aluguer de bicicletas. A minha chefe na loja de bicicletas lembrou-me que na Finanças tem listas aprovadas de profissões e actividades. Disse-me que ‘operador de loja’ está na lista e que seria o mais adequado para o que estou a fazer. Olhei pelo início de uma lista no website das Finanças: agricultor, apicultor, bibliotecário, biólogo, bancário, barista, chefe de cozinha, contabilista, cunicultor . A pessoa ou as pessoas que creiam nestas listas parecem ter tentado preencher o alfabeto: nenhuma letra deve estar isenta de pelo menos uma profissão ou atividade. Com esta teoria para avaliar, a procura na lista por operador de loja ou qualquer primo dele, tornou-se mais divertida. Fui direto à letra ...

O Nome Certo / Perfect Pet Names (português / English)

// Sem que saiba as palavras que estão adequada para nomes de animais de estimação, não pode dizer que domina a língua. Trata-se de um domínio especializado das competências linguísticas em que o som, o sentido e a moda são combinados numa palavra só. Em baixo está a lista dos nomes escolhidos por pessoas cuja língua materna é o português. O asterisco significa que conheço mais do que um animal de estimação com esse nome. // Can you say you’ve mastered a language if you don’t know which words work as pet names? The naming of pets is a narrow field of language where sound and sense and fashion fuse in a single word. Below is list of the pet names picked by people whose first language is Portuguese. Where the name has a more common meaning the translation is in brackets. The asterix means I know of more than one pet with this name. Cães / Dogs Pipoca* (popcorn) Zai Tiky Malu Kika Kuri Suki Rosie Rex Vitória Noori Gatos / Cats Estrela (star) Biscoito (bi...

Living not at home

Search This Blog