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Pão Cão Tão Não (texto português, English text)

Temos três filhos. É raro um de nós passar tempo com uma criança só, mas isso leva sempre a algo bom. 

No verão passado estivemos num lugar de beleza natural na Serra de Freita. Enquanto as nossa duas filhas mais velhas faziam concursos de suster-a-respiração-subaquática no rio, levei a mais jovem ao café. Para além do português, havia meia dúzia de outras línguas a serem faladas. A nossa filha reconheceu o som do francês, o que agradou tanto a ela como a mim. 

No cafe ela escolheu um hot dog. Entāo discutimos como esta frase é a mesma em inglês e em português.

Deveria ser cāo quente.

Esse poderia ser o nome de uma loja ao lado de O Pāo Quente. 

Sim, sim. O Cāo Quente. E tem todos os hot dogs e hot dogs de banana e batatas fritas e todo esse tipo de coisas. 

E se um dos filhos do dono quisesse começar alguma coisa e abrir uma terceira loja ...

Já sei: Tāo Quente! A comida é tão quente que nem se consegue comê-la. 

Isto fez-me lembrar de como os cabeleireiros britânicos chamam os seus negócios. Adoro os seus trocadilhos e rimas: combinam invenção, imaginação e irreverência. Um amigo em Birmingham tem um gosto semelhante por isto e uma vez recitou-nos os seus favoritos: Curl Up And Dye, A Cut Above, Beyond The Fringe.

Na família, começámos uma lista para complementar a sua. A nossa era de lojas de fish and chips: The Frying Plaice, Rock n Roe, Chish and Fips, The Cod's Scallops. Há alguns anos atrás, quando os barbeiros curdos começaram a abrir-se perto de nós em Norwich, também eles retomaram esta tradição, escolhendo nomes que sugeriam social media: Hairbook, Instakutz, Clickr. 

Assim, no café, com a minha filha, eu queria fazer mais trocadilhos:

E que tal Nāo Quente? Para coisas frias. 

Pois é! Gelados e todas as bebidas frias e os blocos de gelo gelado. 

O seu prato já estava vazio e a minha chávena de café também. Olhámos para as pessoas na praia fluvial. Dissemos a nossa lista de nomes de lojas imaginárias mais algumas vezes: Pāo Quente, Cāo Quente, Tāo Quente, Nāo Quente. 

Há vinte meses atrás colocámos as nossas filhas numa língua que eles mal conheciam. O primeiro ano letivo foi um autentico lamaçal. O segundo ano não foi fácil. Momentos como este, quando mostram uma compreensão fácil e lúdica da língua, brilham no meio do trabalho e a infelicidade. 

* * *

We have three children. It is rare for one of us to spend time with one child on their own, but it always leads to something good. 

Last summer we went to a beauty spot in the Serra de Freita. While the older two were doing hold-your-breath-underwater contests in the river, I took our youngest to the cafe. As well as Portuguese there were half a dozen other languages being spoken. Our daughter picked out the sound of French, which pleased both her and me. 

We asked for the menu and she chose a hot dog. Then we talked about how the name in Portuguese can be the same as in English: hot dog. 

It should be cāo quente.

That could be the name of a shop next to O Pāo Quente. 

Yeah, yeah. O Cāo Quente. And it’s got all hot dogs in it and banana hot dogs and chips and all those type of things. 

And then they want to open a third shop, like if one of the owner’s children wants to start something. 

I know: Tāo Quente! The food's so hot you can't even eat it. 

This reminded me of how British hairdressers name their businesses. I love their puns and rhymes: invention, imagination and irreverence. A friend in Birmingham has a similar taste and once recited us his favourites: Curl Up And Dye, A Cut Above, Beyond The Fringe, Hair Today. 

In our family we started a list to complement his. Ours was fish and chip shops: The Codfather, The Frying Plaice, Rock n Roe, Fishcoteque, Chish and Fips, The Cod’s Scallops. A few years ago, when Kurdish barbers started to open up near us in Norwich, they took up the tradition, specialising in names that riffed off social media: Hairbook, Instakutz, Clickr. 

Making up names for imaginary shops gave me a taste of the word games I’ve been missing. I tried to sustain the game with my daughter:

What about Nāo Quente? You know, for cold things. 

Yeah! Ice creams and all the cold drinks and the freezing cold ice blocks of ice. 

Her plate is empty by now and so is my coffee cup. We look over at the river with all the swimmers. We chant our list of imaginary shop names a few more times: Pāo Quente, Cāo Quente, Tāo Quente, Nāo Quente. . 

Twenty months ago we dropped our children into a language that they hardly knew. The first year of Portuguese school was an unrelenting struggle. The second year wasn't easy. Moments like this, when they show an easy and playful understanding of the language, gleam amongst the unhappiness and toil.

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